Chapter 7
Bob the Accountant was prompt, as Mary Louise would have expected. Five minutes into the ride to the venue, Mary Louise began thinking of him as Beige Bob. His pants were beige (okay, khaki, but that’s in the beige family) his shirt was only a slightly lighter beige and his sport coat was a checkered beige. His teeth were beige, the interior of his car was beige and his personality was most definitely beige. He was the yin to the most interesting man in the world’s yang. But he was nice and he didn’t have that predatory air about him that Mary Louise’s senses had become extremely heightened to lately. Whether that was his natural way or Cheyenne had advised him to proceed with extreme caution, Mary Louise found herself relaxing just the tiniest bit, and almost looking forward to the party.
Dottie and John’s three children had rented one of the myriad of wedding venues in the area. It was a bit off the beaten path on a former ranch. Bob drove up the gravel path chased by a cloud of dust. The sun was just setting so the hundreds of lights strung in the ancient live oak trees in front of the venue were bright against the darkening sky.
Bob parked and quickly went around to Mary Louise’s door and opened it for her, offering his hand to help her out. A gentleman. Luckily Mary Louise wore sensible flats with her long skirt. Navigating the gravel parking lot in high heels would have been nothing short of treacherous.
They walked the short distance to the large building, a log cabin on steroids. Dottie looked radiant. Her daughters had scheduled a full day of beauty for her including facial, professional hair and make-up, plus mani/pedi. Mary Louise knew the fake acrylic nails would be soaked off before her French manicure would have a chance to say au revoir, but for now they looked lovely.
How very nice to be going to a celebration like this. Funerals were becoming all too frequent, but the older you got, the more you went to.
They made the rounds, saying hello to the people Mary Louise knew. She introduced Bob as “her friend” even though they’d only met 30 minutes ago. There were a few raised eyebrows, a couple of sly winks, and an overly lengthy handshake from Jerry as he sized up what he perceived as his competition. Mary Louise could have saved him the trouble. Neither man was in the ballpark, much less on the playing field.
Bob asked if he could get her a drink, and with Jerry safely working the other side of the room, Mary Louise said that a white wine would be lovely. As soon as Bob’s back was turned, Beverly and Joanne swooped in.
“So who’s the guy?” asked Beverly, a sly smile on her lips.
Joanne looked like a puppy about to get a treat.
“It’s Bob. I already introduced you.”
“Yes but who is he,” prodded Joanne.
“He’s Cheyenne’s accountant,” said Mary Louise, as if that explained everything.
Beverly rolled her eyes in a huge dramatic circle and then said, “Spill. The. Beans.”
“It’s nothing. It’s not even a date. He’s just here as my escort.”
“He’s kind of cute,” said Joanne.
Joanne had been divorced for several years. It was one of the few amicable divorces Mary Louise had ever witnessed. According to Joanne, she and Fenton woke up one morning and both realized they didn’t want to be married to each other any more. Mary Louise knew it wasn’t quite that simple, but was probably pretty close. They married at twenty-one when Joanne got pregnant. Joanne lost the baby less than a month after their nuptials had been uttered. The pregnancy was supposed to be a secret but of course it wasn’t. Those who weren’t sure assumed. They probably could have gotten the marriage annulled, or even gotten a divorce, but the deed was done and they decided to move ahead with their life together. They ended up having three children, a set of twin girls and a boy.
There was no infidelity. There were no shouting matches. They simply grew apart and decided to give each other a chance at love again. Fenton found it rather quickly, and Joanne was truly happy for him. She got along fine with his new wife and family gatherings went off without a hitch. Joanne was still looking, but not very hard. She had a nice garden home, plenty of money, and was in no hurry to complicate her life. However, apparently it didn’t hurt to look.
“He’s all yours,” said Mary Louise.
“Now wait a minute,” said Beverly. “What if I want a shot?”
“You could always do rock, paper, scissors,” suggested Mary Louise.
Bob returned and handed Mary Louise her wine. He had a Shiner Bock for himself nestled in a custom koozie that said, “Cheers and Beers to 40 years.” Mary Louise recognized the gleam in Beverly’s eyes. It had assaulted her across the pickleball net when Beverly was hungry for a victory. Joanne must have recognized it too. She struck first, batting her eyes at Bob and saying, “So, I understand you’re an accountant.”
Mary Louise took another look at her escort. Was there something she was missing? She estimated him to be in his late 60’s with mostly white, close-cropped hair still valiantly clinging to his balding head. He had a slight resemblance to Alec Guinness, although it had taken her some time to make that connection due to his higher pitched voice and Texas accent.
“Indeed I am,” Bob said. “Your numbers are my business.”
It took Joanne a moment to realize that must be his slogan and she giggled. “Oh, that’s funny.”
Not to be brushed aside, Beverly laughed and said, “Very clever. Did you come up with that yourself?”
“Actually, it was my wife,” said Bob. “God rest her soul.”
“God rest her soul,” mumbled Joanne and Beverly in unison.
“I used to work in the accounting department at an investment firm so numbers were my business too!” said Joanne.
Beverly glared at her.
“So what do you do when you’re not busy with all those numbers?” asked Joanne.
Goodness, this flirty side of Joanne was foreign to Mary Louise. It was a bit fascinating.
“Oh, I keep busy. I love photography so I like to find new places to go and take pictures.”
“Do you play pickleball?” asked Beverly.
“No, I can’t say that I’ve ever tried it.”
Joanne squeezed his upper arm and said, “You look pretty fit. You should come join us. It’s a lot of fun.”
“Yes,” said Beverly. “You should come join us. We play two or three times a week at the Y.”
Bob looked at Mary Louise with a slight widening of the eyes, a look Mary Louise recognized as a cry for help so she said, “I don’t know about you all, but I’m starving.”
Bob put a hand to his stomach and said, “That barbecue does smell delicious. Shall we?”
“Let’s do!” said Mary Louise, smiling at Joanne and Beverly as Bob led her in the direction of the buffet line.
After the guests had gone through the buffet line and were seated, Dottie’s daughter Amber tapped on her glass with a knife to get everyone’s attention.
“Hello, everyone. I’d like to thank y’all for coming tonight and making this such a special occasion for Mom and Dad. Forty years is a long damn time, and definitely something to celebrate!”
There were cheers of agreement from around the room, plus a few whistles and “woo woo’s”.
“If you haven’t had a chance yet, please make your way to the buffet and get you some barbecue. And please keep eating! I just wanted to say a few words about my Mom and Dad, and give y’all an opportunity to come up if you’d like to say anything to them. Or about them,” she smiled, giving a big wink. She told a few choice anecdotes about her parents and their undying love, then handed the microphone to some brave souls who each had a funny story or two and plenty of congratulations. Even though she loved Dottie like a sister, Mary Louise had zero desire to get up in front of a room full of people and try to be entertaining.
All night, a large video screen at the front of the room displayed the wedding picture of Dottie and John. It was now replaced by a black and white photo of the two of them on a beach somewhere circa nineteen seventy something. Music began to play and clips of every sappy love song that had hit the Top 10 in the last 40 years accompanied more photos of John and Dottie flashing on the screen.
Mary Louise was hit by a wave of…something. Grief? Jealousy? Sadness for what could have been? She felt like it might swallow her whole. Tears stung her eyes and she blinked them back. She was happy for Dottie, the only one of the four of them who had been able to hang onto a husband. She knew that the photos chronicled the good times. The happy times. There were no pictures of them sitting at the kitchen table right after Johnny was born adding up bills and realizing there wasn’t enough in the checking account to cover them. There were no pictures of them at the hospital when Aaron had meningitis and they almost lost him. There were no pictures of John walking out of AMD in 1986, caught up in their first “reduction in force” due to Japanese dominance in the computer memory market. They should only be remembering the happy times. It was a survival tactic for getting through life, even though some memories would bleed through like a water stain on the wall no matter how much Kilz you tried to cover it with.
Bob patted her hand, and she looked over at him. He was also teary-eyed, no doubt missing his wife and assuming the same of her and Albert. She smiled at him. He didn’t let his hand linger. Cheyenne was right. He was a very nice man. By the time the screen froze on a last picture of John and Dotty and the music ended, there were quite a few teary eyes and sniffles.
DJ Swaggy T loaded up a back beat and said, “Alright, alright, alright! Let’s get this party started!”
Swaggy T was a fifty something white guy named Tom who was doing his best to be the coolest guy in the room. He flipped a switch and a disco ball began spinning above them, sprinkling tiny dots of light on all the guests.
“Can we please have the anniversary couple on the dance floor!”
Dottie and John made their way up amidst applause and a few whistles.
“We’ll let these two love birds have the first dance alone, but then everyone needs to get up out of their seats and get their boogie on!”
The loud beat was replaced with the opening bars of “Just You ‘N’ Me” by Chicago. John happily led Dottie around the dance floor. She was glowing and Mary Louise was happy for her friend. John looked very spiffy in a dark blue suit with a light blue shirt and outrageously loud and colorful tie.
After that, Swaggy T played “Love will Keep us Together” by the Captain and Tennille. Three other couples joined Dottie and John as Amber, Denise, and Cheyenne served pieces of cake.
“Alright!” said Swaggy T. “Let’s get everybody on the dance floor now for the Cupid Shuffle! Don’t worry if you don’t know how to do it. It’s easy to learn. Let’s go! Let’s go!”
Had Swaggy T looked at his audience? He should be happy they were all still awake. Surprisingly the dance floor started to fill up and Bob nodded toward the front of the room.
“Care to dance?”
“I’m not sure I know how to do this one.”
“It’s easy. C’mon.”
Bob pulled her to her feet and led her to the dance floor, just in time for the first round of “To the right, to the right, to the right…” To her surprise, Bob was not beige on the dance floor. He swiveled his hips and prompted Mary Louise for each of the next moves. Dottie was having a ball and moved like a 20 year old. Mary Louise found that she couldn’t stop smiling. This was fun. She was having fun!
Swaggy T had a few more typical dance songs lined up, and Mary Louise was thankful for the second time that night that she had on flats. Bob’s dance moves were getting noticed and even some of the younger ladies in the crowd made their way close to him to trade a few moves.
A bead of sweat trickled down her back, and her calves gave her a gentle request to sit down for a few minutes. She shouted at Bob over the music and ever the gentleman, he moved to lead her back to the table.
“No!” she shouted, “You stay here and have fun!”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Very sure,” she said and gave him a big smile.
She grabbed a glass of ice water on the way back to the table and sank into the chair, grateful to be off her feet. Joanne eased her way over to Bob just in time for Swaggy T to inform everyone he was going to slow it down a little, spinning “A Groovy Kind of Love” by Phil Collins. Joanne and Bob swayed their way around the dance floor, talking and smiling the entire time.
Mary Louise was shocked when DJ Swaggy T announced the last dance and she looked at her watch. Almost 11:00! Bob held out his hand and Mary Louise was glad to hear the last song was The Last Dance by Donna Summer and not anything slow and romantic. He hit her with a few vintage disco moves and twirled her around the floor.
DJ Swaggy T bid everyone a goodnight and couples shuffled to their seats to collect coats, handbags, and goodnights. Mary Louise offered to stay and help Amber and Denise clean up, but they wouldn’t hear of it. They said they had the venue until 10:00 the next morning with plenty of hands lined up to help.
It was a clear, dark night. As they walked back to the parking lot Mary Louise thought to herself that the stars at night were indeed big and bright deep in the heart of Texas. It was one of the things she loved about the Hill Country. The millions of stars had been there just the same back in Houston, but you never saw them.
Bob opened the door for her and she slid in. There wasn’t much traffic at this time of night so the ride back to her house was short and sweet. Plenty of easy small talk about the event and the guests. Cheyenne had looked especially lovely in a tight-fitting burgundy cocktail dress, and seemed extremely pleased with herself on the successful match making.
Bob pulled into her drive and up to the garage doors. Mary Louise turned to Bob and said, “Thank you for a very lovely evening.” She sincerely meant it.
“My pleasure,” he said. “Would you like me to walk you to the door?”
“Oh, no, I’m fine. I’ll punch my code in the garage door here and go in that way.”
“I’ll just hang here for a minute then and be sure the coyotes don’t get you.”
Mary Louise laughed. “I appreciate that. Good night.”
Mary Louise opened the garage door with her code, then turned around briefly to wave at Bob. He waved back and put the car in reverse. She pressed the button to close the garage door and let herself into the house.
She had done it. She had gone on a date. She’d had fun. She had somehow managed to avoid Jerry and the dance she had promised him. She went to bed tired and happy.
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