Chapter 17
Dottie was very glad to get out of the house. Men were such babies.
John had gotten his first kidney stone in his mid-thirties and then been randomly surprised with others over the years. Every doctor they talked to had a different theory about what caused them. The first emergency room physician said it was because John drank too many sodas. To that doctor’s credit, John swore off sodas in favor of water and went nearly five years before the next one hit. Doctor number two said John had too much rich food in his diet and glared accusingly at Dottie. On the third trip to the emergency room, that doctor said it was hereditary and there wasn’t much John could do about it, although she did recommend drinking as much water as possible. That visit was also the one where the woman in the gurney next to John, also passing a kidney stone, said that the kidney stone was much more painful than childbirth. If Dottie could track that woman down now, she would punch her in the face. Dottie did not dispute the fact that John was in pain, but after the hospital was able to confirm that he indeed was passing a kidney stone and that he wasn’t just some drug addict looking for a hit of painkillers, they’d given him a shot of something to ease the pain and he’d sleep for a couple of hours while Dottie read a book. Now John was firmly convinced Dottie’s three forays into labor and delivery were nothing compared to the pain he experienced with his kidney stones.
This latest episode had given him the opportunity to tell that story again to anyone who would listen. Bonus: it now had a great chapter two where he could whine about the pain and embarrassment of having a laser shoved up his pee hole. Dottie knew it was futile to try and compare this experience to twelve hours of hard labor culminating in your feet in stirrups with half the hospital looking up your hoo hoo. She had been happy to leave John at the house, reclining in the recliner and hopped up on Hydrocodone.
Dottie knocked on Mary Louise’s front door and immediately heard Pixie yapping on the other side. Mary Louise opened it, Pixie firmly tucked under one arm.
“Hello!” greeted Mary Louise.
Pixie confirmed the identity of the intruder, wriggled out of Mary Louise’s arms, and returned to the small chicken-flavored rawhide she’d abandoned on the living room rug. There was no love lost there.
“Damn yapper,” muttered Dottie. Then she stepped inside and hugged Mary Louise.
“I hope she wasn’t too much trouble,” said Dottie.
“No trouble at all. We got along fine.”
Dottie eyed Mary Louise.
“Truly,” said Mary Louise. “She was a perfect little lady. Weren’t you Pixie?”
Pixie paused her chewing long enough to tilt her chin up at Dottie and momentarily glare into her soul. Dottie had always been more of a cat person, although they hadn’t had one since the kids left. Maybe if she got a cat or two, Aaron and Cheyenne wouldn’t ever request Pixie babysitting services again. Although the way she’d settled in with Mary Louise during her short stay, they may have found a new sucker.
“How’s John?” asked Mary Louise.
“Annoying the shit out of me,” said Dottie, “but what are you gonna do?”
“What can I get you? Iced tea? Coffee?”
“I could go for another cup of coffee if you have some made. John snores terrible when he’s on pain killers. I hardly slept last night, and still don’t feel fully awake.”
Dottie made her way to the living room and sat heavily on the couch. Pixie eyed her as she chewed. Dottie stuck her tongue out at the pooch. Mary Louise breezed in with a steaming mug of coffee, which Dottie knew would contain a teaspoon of sugar and a splash of milk. Mary Louise had to be one of the kindest people she knew. There probably wasn’t a single person who walked through her door a second time without Mary Louise knowing how they take their coffee. It was always a mystery to her why she was with Albert. He was a decent looking guy, but the word that always came to mind when she thought of him was smarmy. Like Eddie Haskell from the old Leave it to Beaver show. Dottie was the only one in the crew who knew what really happened the night Albert died. Beverly was a blabber mouth, and the whole world would have known about it ten seconds after she did, so she had been held incommunicado. Joanne wasn’t as close as the others, and there seemed no reason to tell her so neither her nor Mary Louise had.
Dottie took a sip of her coffee. It was perfect and delicious.
“When do Aaron and Cheyenne get back?” asked Mary Louise.
“Saturday.”
“Would you like me to just keep Pixie until then?”
“I like you too much for that. You’ve already been a lifesaver.”
“I really don’t mind. It’s been kind of nice to have her around. You’ve got your hands full with John.”
Dottie snorted. A low growl came from Pixie as if she understood Dottie’s feelings.
“Truly, she hasn’t been a bother at all,” said Mary Louise.
“I don’t know. Can I throw John in with the deal?”
“I draw the line at whiny men, but you are welcome to stay as long as you want.”
“I shouldn’t leave him alone. The man can barely tie his own shoes. He still thinks it’s the underwear fairy who visits each week and leaves him fresh skivvies in his drawer.”
“We’re quite a generation, aren’t we? All liberated until we get in our own homes.”
"Yeah, we're members of the AND generation. You can work AND take care of the kids AND do all of the cleaning AND do all of the cooking AND be a sex goddess in bed."
Mary Louise laughed. "Remember that old Enjoli commercial? That woman singing about how she could bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan..."
"And never, never let you forget you're a man? What horseshit. And she was a model! Well, I created my monster. I don’t want him touching my stuff. Cheyenne has the right idea though. She and Aaron split chores almost 50/50. I nearly fell over the first time I saw my son vacuuming.”
That was the God’s honest truth. Dottie had been brought up in a household where the man ruled and didn’t have to be polite about it. He ordered her mother around like she was no better than a servant. Every Friday night her dad got a thick ribeye steak seared to perfection in a cast iron skillet while the four kids and her mother ate Hamburger Helper. At least John said please and thank you. He was a gem compared to her dad, even though he could be a royal pain in the ass sometimes.
Speaking of royal pains in the ass, Dottie looked at Pixie, now curled up in Mary Louise’s lap, staring her down and daring her to start something.
“Are you sure about keeping Pixie?” she asked.
Mary Louise lightly stroked Pixie’s furry head and in return, Pixie looked up adoringly at her new sitter.
“I’m sure. She gets me off my butt and outside for some Vitamin D.”
Dottie shrugged. “Okey dokey.” She took a drink of the delicious coffee, the caffeine finally kicking in. “So anything new with Jerry?”
“Oh goodness, no,” said Mary Louise, shaking her head. “I need him like I need a hole in the head.”
“He seems pretty determined.”
Dottie couldn’t imagine Mary Louise and Jerry as a couple, but she’d never really seen Jerry and his wife Charlotte as a couple. If Jerry was a five, Charlotte was a strong eight. Could have been a nine if it wasn’t for the huge mole on her chin that usually had a couple of short dark hairs poking out. But who was Dottie to talk? She was something back in the day. When her and John went out dancing, he was always one tap on the shoulder away from starting a brawl. She was a looker, and boy howdy could she dance. Now she was a gray-haired old lady with a pot belly and bursitis in her hips.
“I know. I’m gonna have to set the record straight, and soon. I’m just not very good at confrontations.”
Thinking about it now, Dottie believed that Mary Louise was happier without Albert. She didn’t blame her for not wanting to get involved with another man.
“Do you want me to talk to him for you?” offered Dottie.
“No. I appreciate it but he’s my cross to bear.”
Dottie knew Mary Louise would walk a hundred miles before hurting someone’s feelings so she was proud of her for not trying to pass the buck, even though it had been Dottie’s idea. Dottie had no problem confronting people, in fact she enjoyed the challenge. Probably the byproduct of growing up with three brothers.
“Seems like you’re collecting crosses these days,” said Dottie nodding her head at Pixie.
Mary Louise smiled, then said, “Would you like more coffee?”
Dottie looked at the bottom of her mug and said, “Maybe just one more.”
**Please leave a comment below. Your information will not be saved or added to an email list. It just prevents the bots from bashing me.
You can also use the Contact form to message me direct.**