8: Be Your Spouse's Biggest Fan

This is #8 in a series of 40 things you can do to stay married for 40 years.

Your spouse is awesome. That's why you married them. Try to be your spouse's biggest fan and find ways to show it in the spirit of a true fan. You don't "compliment" your favorite sports team. You cheer for them! You blow a ridiculously loud air horn! You chant their name! You throw your fist in the air and go, "Woo woo woo woo!"

You don't have to make it weird, but make it enthusiastic and heartfelt. Did they have a big win at work? Did they solve what felt like an impossible problem? Did they shine particularly bright in the parenting category over the weekend? If you see something, say something.

Sadly over the years we've seen more than one couple who somehow fell into a competition with each other. This negates any desire to want to cheer on your spouse because you're competing against them! If you're always trying to "win" against your spouse, you'll soon find that there are no winners. Be the first to take a step back and change the dynamic.

I've had the honor of walking in several Susan G. Komen breast cancer walks. It's 60 miles in three days, roughly 20 miles a day. I'm not an athlete, although I did "train" with friends before each walk. All along the route there are people cheering you on. Around mile 15 or 16 each day, I'd be keeping an eye out for the bus that would be happy to take me back to the camp. I was tired and I'd done enough. Then I'd come upon a group of people cheering, encouraging, clapping, offering treats to keep me going. And I did. They gave me what I needed to finish those last few miles. So sometimes it's not cheering for what someone has accomplished. It's cheering to help them keep going!